Making Every Effort . . . In the Bond of Peace

9th Sunday after Pentecost

Ephesians 4:1-16

I received an e-mail this week from a friend, and I want to share this little parable with you.

You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2. An old friend who once saved your life. 3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application. You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first. Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations.

Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."

I have been in a strange (and I am beginning to believe, wonderful) place for the last three weeks – ever since I returned from Children’s camp with our boys. My experiences over these weeks culminated this past Thursday with a lunch meeting in which I was asked to play a role that is rather foreign to me – I was invited to listen while two men told their stories to one another. Except for two clarifying statements, I pretty much just nodded and offered the occasional bit of small talk while I ate my club sandwich and drank my iced tea.

This is a role which is, for me, unusual. I have preferred a different role – that of antagonist and freedom fighter. I have participated in that role so many times in my life, and this week I realized something – it has gotten me nowhere. I haven’t accomplished a thing by assuming that role.

I learned a second thing, I think. Almost without asking, the Lord thrust on me a different role – that of peacemaker. I wanted it to be an active role, but all I was asked and expected to do was to be present.

I’m working from the epistle to the Ephesians today, but I read the gospel for today, and read some of what Will Willimon had to say about today’s gospel lesson. His point – that the gospel isn’t about you, and it isn’t about me – it’s about God. Well, at my lunch meeting on Thursday, the topics at hand and the meeting itself wasn’t about me – the issues at hand were about helping a couple of other Christians get to know one another and one another’s stories to the point that they could better understand each other. I learned a lesson.

Paul said to his Christian friends in Ephesus, “I therefore, the prisoner in the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

Man, that’s hard to do. You and I live in a world where conflict is everywhere. We experience turmoil on the job, in our homes, in the community, in government, between countries, between parents and children – the list is almost endless as to where our lives are gathered up in conflict and turmoil. All sides call out to us to “pick a side.” We are expected to be people of principle, standing up for what is right in a world where there is so very much that is wrong, and those who draw us into the fracas demand that we “pick a side” and start fighting, right along with the rest of the world.

This week, I was reintroduced to a better way.

Jesus introduced us to a life of peace. Paul picked up on Jesus’ teaching, and reminded us that we are to make every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. That is a high calling. It runs counter to everything in us – to our desires, to our personalities, to our cumulative experiences in conflict resolution. But it is a high calling, nonetheless.

At the lunch on Thursday, one of the men noticed that so very much conflict in religious circles starts out as conflict surrounding a principle or theological opinion, but ends up being a conflict centered around personalities. Two people enter into a struggle, and pretty soon they start enlisting people to join them, not based on the original premise of the conflict, but based on their faithfulness to each other, to additional principles, or to the “rightness of their cause.” I’ve seen it a hundred times. I’ve seen it too many times from the middle of the fight, rarely wondering how I got involved in such a fracas.

Someone asked me this week what I thought my role would be at the lunch, and being in the midst of a personal moment of growth, I responded by saying that I would consider that my role was to be the “Jimmy Carter” at this “Camp David” meeting. You remember Jimmy Carter. I think he is one of the best “ex-presidents” we’ve ever had. Regardless of what you think of his politics, Jimmy Carter has been a spokesperson over these last 30 years for peace and the process of peace. We know much of what he attempted to do while he was President for the cause of world peace, especially in the Middle East. His work has continued after his presidency. His work with Habitat for Humanity has sought to alleviate much of the cause of conflict in the world by helping create affordable housing for people who cannot afford a place to live any other way. He has continued to be involved in helping people work out their differences in a number of venues. Rather recently, President Carter attempted a work of reconciliation between several groups of Baptists. You and I know how Baptists love to fight, don’t we. The success of his efforts may seem dismal at the moment, but time may prove that they have been fruitful.

Jimmy Carter learned something in taking up this cause of peacemaking. The sessions, the discussion, the banter, and any conclusions and reconciliation – these things aren’t about him. They are about the people he is trying to help. He had to learn that lesson. I have had to learn that lesson – again.

You might very well ask, “Pastor, what about our real differences? What about the honest differences?”

I think Paul spoke to this matter. He spoke to it in two ways. First, he spoke to our similarities. He said, “there is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to the one hope of your calling, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is above all and through all and in all.” Paul spoke of our similarities.

After the lunch on Thursday, one of the gentlemen wrote on his website, “He and I are far more alike than we are different. After hearing his story, I discovered that he has faced (and is facing) many of the same struggles I faced. I believe he is a man of integrity. We may not agree on every issue, but we do on most.” I think that would be the testimony of most of us when we get right down to it. We are all far more alike than we are different. We should focus much more of the time on our similarities, and make much less of our differences.

But there are genuine differences. I think Paul addressed that reality as well, when he said, “some would be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, some pastors and teachers.” He was using the illustration of diversity of gifts in the body of Christ, but his point was that we should rejoice and delight in our diversity, rather than consider our diversity a point of controversy or a reason for fear or haughtiness or concern. Diversity is a good thing – God has created this to be a diverse world, full of opportunity and expression.

“Can we believe just anything and be okay?” The scripture doesn’t suggest such an idea. The scripture speaks of “sound doctrine,” calling us to speak the “truth.” But there is this caveat – we are to speak the truth “in love.”

I am learning – again – how to do just that. There may be a couple of good rules to employ when learning how to “speak the truth in love.” One rule is this – there is a difference between loving someone and helping someone. Sometimes I get the two confused. Sometimes I try to love someone by helping them. That’s not always what’s best. Sometimes the best thing we can do to show the truth is to just love the other person.

There might be a second rule to “speaking the truth in love.” It’s an old adage – “Better to keep silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.” Sometimes silence is the better proposition.

Oh, while I’m at it, there might be a third rule of thumb to “speaking the truth in love.” I learned this from watching an evangelist some years ago. He was attempting to teach a technique of evangelism where he had another person simply read the scripture he wanted him to digest, and then ask the person what that scripture meant to him. When the person didn’t respond the way the evangelist wanted him to respond, he didn’t try to correct him – he simply asked the person to read the passage again, and again tell what that passage meant.

From that, I think the rule of thumb might very well be as follows: Jesus said some pretty good things. He doesn’t always need us to interpret. We might do well just to repeat what He said, and leave it at that.

We have been issued a high calling. We are to do what we can do – make every effort – to maintain the unity of the Spirit – always in the bond of peace. May God grant us as much wisdom as we have passion to accomplish our calling.

Richard W. Dunn, PhD.